- you live in Texas but vacation in Minnesota in January.- you have friends who schedule their wedding in the middle of January without a thought about weather conditions.- you consider a six inch snowfall a blessing for "the cities" because it provides instant urban renewal.- you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping the food will swim by.- you keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it ain't worth taking them off for only two months.- you are proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation.- you like to come in out of the sun when the temperature gets above 72.- your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through February.- you instinctively walk like a penguin for three months out of the year.- you believe the only REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under your seat.- you have a nickname for your chain saw and you pat it on the fuel tank at the end of a hard day's sawing.- you like the Winter Olympics better than the Summer Olympics.- you consider snow banks to be "just another rough" on the golf course.- you have no "spring" sports season.- you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time.- you were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday.- your birthday was in April, and you still got to use the shovel right away.- every January, from age 2 to 13, you let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post.- you never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you missed some of the dialogue.- your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans a "winter carnival."- you always believed that vacation meant "going up north."- the temperature in March is above freezing for three days in a row, and you think it's summer.- you laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire east coast.- the first time you saw "Grumpy Old Men" you thought it was a documentary.- your favorite sport when it's cold outside is played where it's cold inside.- you can recite, from memory, more than a half-dozen "Ole and Lena" jokes (If you can't, then turn your volume down & click here).- you believe that bitter cold, a slippery surface and speed go together in a sport and on the Interstate.- you decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend.- you remember going Trick-or-Treating in 3 feet of snow.- you get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota, and for the last time, there is a Rochester in Minnesota!- you think happiness is owning a "piece of lakeshore."PS. Yes, I am a Minnesotan; the weather's turning cooler, and the leaves, brighter!
> YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM ILLINOIS IF:>> 1. You've never met any celebrities.> 2. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.> 3. You measure distance in minutes.> 4. Your school classes were canceled because> of cold.> 5. Your school classes were canceled because> of heat.> 6. You've never had to switch from "heat" to> "A/C" in the same day.> 7. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of> July.> 8. You see a car running in the parking lot> at the store with no one in> it no matter what time of year.> 9. You end your sentences with an unnecessary> preposition.> Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you> go to town I want to> go with."> 10. You install security lights on your house> and garage and leave> both unlocked.> 11. You think of the major four food groups as> beef,pork, beer,> and Jell-o salad with marshmallows.> 12. You carry jumper cables in your car.> 13. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper and> ketchup.> 14. You design your kid's Halloween costume to> fit over a> snowsuit.> 15. Driving is better in the winter because> the potholes> are filled with snow.> 16. You think everyone from a bigger city has> an accent.> 17. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and> a flannel> nightie.> 18. The local paper covers national and> international> headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for> sports.> 19. You know all four seasons: Almost winter,> winter,> still winter and construction.> 20. You know if another Illinoisian is from> southern,> middle or northern Illinois as soon as they open> their mouth.> 21. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with> a population> of 1000 or more.> 22. You actually get these jokes